Do you believe in Marriage?
Do you think you will have a kid in future?
Since I already have a son. I don’t really think of having another kid.
Marriage? I believe in companion. If there is a marriage or not its ok as long as the person i adore the most. Being at 31 (almost there) I do start to think more about finding the person who i can spend the rest of my life with. Its ok that we don’t have the same interest as long as both of us support each other.
I don’t mind having another kid if the person I adore wants one. At least there is something that we share together. Regardless a long or short relationship. I really love being alone. But as the time past I do feel lonely from the inside. I would love to have someone that I can share everything like my daily stories, get to be myself when I am with him, my passion, my interest and definitely the love.
Well, actually I thought I’ve met someone he has the traits that I want to be my companion. Long haired, tall, straight forward af, some nice sense in music, played drum. I knows its all external traits but we start to have an eye on the person is still due external traits first hand. So yes. I am too. I don’t really know him. But I know I am comfortable when I am with him. I get to be myself a lot more.
Unfortunately, I guess we are only meant to be friends. The longer into the friendship the clearer that he only wanted to be friends. Being me, i would not choose loosing a friend forever by telling how I feel but rather keeping him by my side as a friend that i adore. So the circle is here again. Always bumping my head towards a relationship that I felt like I want it but I always end up being too comfortable and scare of loosing him as a friend itself.
It does hurt me when I try to keep it to myself. Always. I am a coward as I come to think about it. I should have let myself go. What’s worst? Not being a friend anymore Or even the outcome will become the one that I have always wanted. The catch is the thoughts of not being able to see him again hurts. So I continue my cowardly journey until maybe 1 day I might get invited to his wedding which will be a very hard decision.
Dear Mister,
Just to let you know that I kinda think I like you. I don’t really know whether are there love but yes i like you. The idea of losing you and being ignored hurts. I don’t know is it you are trying to friendzone me but yea. That is how I feel.
P/s: I know that I always confess in my blog. But this is the only medium I use to rant my heart out.
Love,
YL
