I miss you

Okay..this is the continuing blog from the previous topic..

I miss you so much.....

I can only say it out loud here..

I can tell no one that I fell in love with you..that I miss you..loving you makes me feels like I don't have any friends to talk to..Maybe I am scared of people's judgement..

Hey YOU,
I think its time for me to throw away the feelings even its hard I will try my best.
Loving you hurts me and I don't like it.
Now its real hard to forget the feeling but I know I will. Please say something mean to me..to help me..
Don't be the person of my taste when in front of me. I really need you to not be the person I want  (even I know that is your nature character)
Its been a month where I snap out and notice I actually fell in love with you.
And its also 1 month I tried to get rid of the feeling..
Nothing helps..I tried going out all the time..not being alone..but anyway human needs rest. And while resting you keep popping on my mind..And my heart will start aching..
I feel like an idiot when I cry over you. But..thats what happened. I can't control it.
Even I am boyish..I survived my life..I am still a girl, women, a lady. My heart is still not tough enough to go through this. Its a great feeling but annoying..because like I said.. I CANT have you.

I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE

ok..motivational words for myself even I know I am just bluffing myself out.


Sincerely,
Me