After trying and trying..I am still in love with him
ok..that is not a good sign..
person who cant be with me 24/7 for the rest of my life..no use of keeping..
but why am I still in love with him?
He is kinda too good to be true.
"who am I really to u?"
I don't really know should I love or should I not love u..
when I love you it hurts me cos I know I wont get all of you..
when choose to not love you..you keep popping in my mind and it turned around to I still love you
I can choose to be with you..
But I pity myself..
I grew up alone..YES I have siblings cousins and so on
but most of the time its me and my granny..
I don't have family experience at all...
If I choose to be with you..I can't feel it also..cos I know you won't be around most of the days..or maybe half of the day..
I will still end up being alone maybe with our kids..
but what happen to the love I seek..
I know you love me..but being apart..hmm..
I've gone through a lot for me to think about marriage..married to someone that wont be with me...
I want someone who can be there for me everyday..except all the outstations bla bla bla
I really do want to feel a family feeling..
argghh...I hate myself now a days..but I choose to say I hate you in my text..cos..deep in my heart I do hate you too actually..cos why did you turn up later and why not earlier.. :(
sometimes I am thinking am I being fooled around?
hurm..shall ask him one of the days.
but sometimes we need to have alone time..